The Thin Line Between Loneliness And Choosing Bad Relationships

Is it truly better to have bad company than none at all? Where does one draw the line? Some of us take it too far as an avoidant strategy, while others plunge deep, ending up stuck in relationships that bring nothing but heartache. Where do we draw that line? Is bad company better than no company?

So, I meditated and contemplated. I concluded that it's for everyone to choose where that line goes. But we need to consider a few things.

We are a social species, and we need each other. That ancient part of our reptilian brain still signals danger outside the herd. That's one reason. The second reason is our needs. We don't just want a connection; we need it.

It can get risky here. If we are starved of connection, we'll accept it in any form it's presented to us.

We become victims of our own needs, and if we don't acknowledge this, we can end up in dire situations with people who seek control but disguise it as a connection. These individuals crave connection too, but their approach is far from healthy, to say the least.

Not everyone cares about our best interests. That might be a bitter pill to swallow, but it's very true. Not everyone in our lives is there to make it better. Sometimes, we're the ones not making someone's life better, but worse.

Those of us who subscribe to the belief of oneness, one consciousness playing the roles of existence, also believe in the absence of separation. We play the illusion of separation here to experience. Connection becomes the closest we come to a reminder of oneness.

Connection isn't true connection if it is tainted with control, manipulation, gaslighting, and all those other tactics we employ when we're running from the deep emptiness inside.

Those of us who subscribe to the belief of oneness, of one consciousness playing the roles of existence, also believe in the absence of separation. We play the illusion of separation here to experience. Connection becomes the closest we come to a reminder of oneness.

However, we accept the love we think we deserve. This isn't a novel idea, but it has been said thousands of times because it's true. If we choose not to delve into the abyss of our subconscious to confront these beliefs about deserving, we will shield the person abusing us. Why wouldn't we? They are our sole source of connection anyway. If we admit they're the opposite of that, we're left with nothing. There's danger in denial.

Those of us who subscribe to the belief of oneness, one consciousness playing the roles of existence, also believe in the absence of separation. We play the illusion of separation here for the sake of experience. So, connection becomes the closest we come to a reminder of oneness.

We don't have to look far to see what this perceived separateness has driven us to do.

When we lack a connection to ourselves, our souls, and our hearts, intense loneliness ensues. From that, genuine connections can't emerge. Thus, if we find ourselves in bad company, we're lonelier than ever.

There isn't someone on the same page as us; it becomes more of an every-person-for-themselves relationship. One where it feels like me versus them, where we have to fight against some unseen threat.

I believe we have to accept that, even though we all need connection, not all of us are actively seeking it. So, is it better to have something than nothing? I would say no. Be selective. It's not a luxury but a necessity. Especially if we're in a partnership with someone and plan on having children, or perhaps we already have children with that person.

True connection is caring about how we affect each other. It's taking the other person into consideration, walking the same path, and communicating with compassion and understanding. This requires emotional maturity, and to achieve that, we need a connection to ourselves.

Then there are those of us who have been severely hurt and betrayed, leading us to naturally believe that connection is only possible with selfish people or not at all. This belief stems from fear, and, of course, if we burn our hands several times, we learn not to touch the stove. However, this is only true as we allow it to be.

Solitude might feel comforting for a while, but when fear-based beliefs underlie it, it transforms into isolation, a manifestation of emotional starvation.

Love isn't merely a fleeting feeling; those sensations arise from hormones firing off due to infatuation. Love is a conscious choice. Opting for healthy connections is a decision rooted in self-love.

There are more people out there wanting to make a connection work than we might think. It's the most natural aspect of our being. Let's allow ourselves to embrace that.